scrapping the non-events
Another reason I blog: to remember the moments.
Coming up in my scrapbook queue:
this photo, and this blog entry from 2005.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Dear Aidan ,
*sigh*
I love you. I want to go upstairs right now, scoop you up out of your bed and hold you like a little baby. I want to stroke your cheek, kiss your nose, smooth your hair and watch your eyes flutter and twitch as you dream.
Today was such a very hard day. You tested me at every turn. You pushed every limit. You acted out in every extreme. You exhausted me. A few months ago, I often described you as the boy who “only wants to make people happy. He’ll go to great lengths to please you, to make you proud, to make you smile. He’s thoughtful, obedient and sweet, by nature.” Today, and actually for the past two months or so, I would not use that description.
You’re not a bad boy. On the contrary, I believe that the core of you is still very good. You desire to be good, and to do good. I think this is just a phase. A very miserable phase for both of us, but a phase just the same. My heart hurts, because today, more than once, I said to you through clinched teeth, “Aidan, you are a BAD BOY.” The second time, you just looked at your feet and said, “Yah.” I’m so sorry. You made bad choices today, but you are NOT a bad boy. You remember EVERYthing. I swear, Aidan, you have the memory of an elephant!! I know that you’ll wake up tomorrow morning and remember that you’re a bad boy. And that breaks my heart.
And so, tomorrow, I’m going to do everything in my power to remind you that you are a GOOD BOY. ‘Cause you are. You’re precious and sweet and all that is pure. And even on days like today, when I want to take you down to the zoo and move you in with Mama Monkey, I love you. From the very deepest depths of my heart, I love you.
When you grow up and are big enough to read this, I want you to know that.
January 17th, 2007 at 2:05 am
Oh my! I love that grumpy faced photo!! And I love your journaling too. It will make a great page for sure
January 17th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Thanks for reminding me to write letters like this. My son’s favorite thing to say when I scold him for being misbehaving…”I’m not bad, I’m just happy!” I cry every time on the inside when he says that because he truly is a joyful child. He just makes bad choices sometimes.
January 17th, 2007 at 9:30 pm
Stacy, thank you for sharing this. It is so personal, yet it is a reminder that I needed. I cried while I read it and then almost bawled when I got to the part where he said “yah”. They are so tender, aren’t they? I am going to be careful to make my girls know the difference of being bad and making bad choices. Thanks…MidniteScrapper in Cali
January 17th, 2007 at 10:57 pm
Again, another wonderful article. Another wonderful photo although not glamorous…what scrapbooking is about to me. Capturing moments, bad and good, and letting our families know how much we love them even when bad choices are made. Thanks! I’ll be writing more letters to my DD.
January 18th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
Beautiful. Just beautiful. I haven’t done this type of journaling before. But I need to. Thank you!
January 19th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
Thank You!!
January 27th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
first of all, melissa that is precious…and i’d cry on the inside also.
stacy i so love this layout. i think the picture is so cute. and i think as moms we’ve all been there.
i tried to always remember something my pastor’s wife said to me. she said that when you tell a kid they’re bad they think they are. so tell them their behavior or their choices are abd ones. not them. you did just that.
i cried at what you wrote. straight from the heart.
January 29th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
This journalling is so heartfelt. I love the concept of “you’re not bad but your choice was” I’ll have to remember that.
The photo is priceless too
~Heidi